Homeless Man Constructs Skyscraper Next to The Simon's Work Area

The Simon, who recently moved to the sixth floor, was enjoying his new office when Homeless Pete, a local vagrant, started piling up empty Sanyo boxes next to The Simon.
Despite letters of protest to City Hall from The Simon and clear violation of zoning laws, it has not stopped the new hobo high rise from being constructed.
"He's connected to some very powerful people in Santa Monica" The Simon told TDS.

Heckling Representative Interrupts Open Enrollment

The Simon accepted Assurant Representative's apology for shouting, "You lie!" when The Simon claimed to have no cavities during Open Enrollment.

The Simon said Thursday that the representative apologized "quickly and without equivocation" and Assurant PR told TDS the shout-out was "spontaneous."

"We all make mistakes," The Simon told TDS "And The Simon has some clean teeth, yo."

The Simon Has Moved

Beat reporter Joe “Peter Parker” Perez gets The Simon to open up about his new nest, perched up on the 6th floor.

Station Fire Spreads to The Simon's Computer

Despite having a firewall, California wildfires spread to The Simon's computer on Tuesday. "Dry weather conditions, excessive amounts of alcohol heavy Germ-X Hand Sanitizer and a having a high speed internet connection creating the perfect storm allowing this to happen." said Mike Dietrich of the U.S. Forest Service. "We're just happy The Simon is safe." Surveying the damage, The Simon sifted through charred Apple Jacks and burnt cans of Mountain Dew.

The Simon Concerned About Apple Jack Levels

"These boxes may not last through the week." A somber The Simon reported to the entire Dev. team. Heads were hung low as many wondered how they will cope without their daily bowl of Apple Jacks. Some are contemplating leaving Demand and actually walking outside to Whole Foods. "That place has healthy food, it would be a fool's journey!" Members of the mob quickly pointed out. Apple Jacks tycoon Tim Edmundson, who has been accused manipulating AJ supplies, had no comment.

The Simon Inspirational Posters

HALLWAYS-
Hopefully, Those Creepy Twins From “The Shining” Are Not at the Other End

The Simon Watches Impassioned SEO Jeff Spontaneously Combust

Uttering the phrase 'Tell me more about SEO' led The Simon to inadvertently witness deadly consequences
as SEO enthusiast Jeff Grant exploded in a passionate glorious flame while explaining the virtues of having strong SEO.
The Simon was baffled. "The Simon just asked him about optimizing Mania, Jeff was pretty excited to begin with,
then he turned red and then just friggin' exploded into tiny Jeff pieces who were all somehow all talking about SEO.
Madness, The Simon says. Madness."