The Simon Haunted By Bing Jingle

New Cups Inadvertently Make The Simon Feel Inadequate

Paper cup replacements have had an adverse affect on the morale of DM employees,including The Simon. "The Simon doesn't feel manly with a small cup." Other Demand employees voiced their frustration: "They're so damn small." Content editor and big cup lover Liana Aghajanian told TDS. "As someone who drinks a lot of water, these cups do not even come close to quenching my thirst."

The Keith Mistaken for The Simon

Santa Monica- Pacific Palisades library Card carrier, movie lover and CEO of Demand Media, Richard Rosenblatt made the error of mistaking The Simon's doppelganger The Keith for The Simon during Friday's taco lunch.
Rosenblatt later apologized to The Simon via Twitter:
RR: @TheSimon: Yo, sorry bro. My bad About 3 minutes ago
TheSimon @ RR: No worries, R2. The Simon mistook Jeremy Reed for Gerard Butler once. You're still The Simon's homeboy. About 2 minutes ago
RR: @TheSimon: Bff, man. BFF!!!! About 1 minute ago

The Simon Finds Culprit Behind Copier Tomfoolery

Photo Courtesy of Joe "Peter Parker" Perez
Paper Jams, low ink toner, copier on the fritz; Demand employees have heard all of these reasons for a broken copy machine before. But thanks to The Simon's crack detective work, we now know why. Apparently, Charles Hilliard's identical twin-prank-playing brother, Selrahc, has been sabotaging the copier while DM staff are not around. Fraternal doppelganger Selrahc is only distinguishable to Charles only by his goatee and motto: spend, spend, spend.

The Simon Recaptures Freed Journalists

The Simon The Hunter

Laura Ling and Euna Lee react as they fall into The Simon's trap

Santa Monica- Freed Journalist Laura Ling and Euna Lee were caught by The Simon after being released from Pyongyang, North Korea prison. "It wasn't that hard." The Simon stated, "The Simon will only release them if they sign up through Demand Studios as writers, pending approval of course."

The Simon Outflanks Pam Jones

The Simon Rants About Snacks

Sun Chips...What's up with them?