The Simon OK After Car Crash

Santa Monica- Forget about a "suspicious package" that shut down Wilshire early Friday morning, the real news was that beloved DM icon, The Simon, was fine after being involved in a car accident Thursday evening. "Some lady in a BMW rear-ended me." A somewhat shaky The Simon told TDS. As a result, BMW's have been banned from going within 300 feet of The Simon and the woman who was at fault for the accident is currently being hunted for sport.

Search for Beta Fish Comes to Sad Tragic End

The Simon is investigating the death of a 1-month-old Baboosh whose body was found on the floor underneath Donna. Foul play has not been issued out and most everyone is considered a suspect.


Baboosh: In Repose

Baboosh, born Benjamin Jaffe, was a veteran character fish actor best known for his role as 'Baboosh' and trained with The Groundlings Theater. Baboosh is survived by his mother, Modern Mom. Baboosh was flushed at a private ceremony. Sarah Maclachlan performed.

Breaking News: Aqua Green Alert for Missing Beta Fish

A Monday hunt for evidence in the disappearance of an 1 month-old Beta Fish, failed to turn up any leads, authorities say.

Despite the efforts of one volunteer, no clues were found as to the whereabouts of "Baboosh" who was taken from the Modern Mom 6th floor office.

Search warrant affidavits indicated that stray cats who prowl the area near Demand Santa Monica, have been designated as 'felines of interest.'

"There was no evidence that clearly indicated that the and the cats we were looking at had anything to do with her disappearance," Donna of the Modern Mom told TDS. "Having served these warrants, we found nothing but some catnip, so we're pursuing other stray cats in the areas, perhaps even some seagulls or pelicans near the beach."

If you have any information on Baboosh, please call: 1-310-314-7600

EXECUTIVE Larry Plays Displays Out of the Box Thinking With Spaghetti

Not wanting to lose out to Poobah Colo and attempting to counter Queen Cararas' southern feast, EXECUTIVE Larry left out a pan of spaghetti in a highly trafficked The Simon area.
"Come and get it" EXECUTIVE Larry said while pantomiming a dinner bell."It was delicious. I ate half of it. How can he resist?" Larry then hid behind the couch waiting for a passing The Simon.