High Five The Simon Day

The Simon who has given so much to TDS would like some love back.
All day Tuesday and Wednesday, when you see The Simon,
please give The Simon a 'high-five' along with some praise and/or affirmation.
Like 'You rock, The Simon' or 'I love you, The Simon' or 'The Simon, I would love to have a cig with you.'
(BTW- The Simon is trying to stop smoking, so maybe not so much the last one)

Is The Simon In You?

The Simon is working hard today, The Simon took a quick pause in his busy schedule to say: "There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same."

The Simon Drafts McDonald

On the heels of the NBA Draft, The Simon decided to hold his own and selected Product Manager Brian McDonald as his #1 pick into the TDS Army.
The Simon had this to say about his pick: "After watching Brian eat 10 plus donuts The Simon was giving away, how could The Simon not draft this guy?"
McDonald was honored, thanking Jesus and his mother, for their guidance. McDonald was also impressed to learn that The Simon loves Gatorade, is a Cancer, and enjoys shooting 9mm's down at the gun range.

The Simon Meets Rosenblatt

Santa Monica- The Simon jumped the shark today by meeting with club owner, Twitter user and CEO of Demand Media, Richard Rosenblatt. Rosenblatt was impressed:
RR: @TheSimon:"Being added to The Daily Simon is bitchin', man." about 10 minutes ago.
RR: @TheSimon:"Good to talk to you." about 9 minutes ago.
TheSimon @ RR: "Are we actually talking? You are right in front of me, but your lips aren't moving." about 8 minutes ago
RR @TheSimon: "Yes, don't you see my fingers typing? This is the power of social media." about 7 minutes ago

The Simon: The Real Most Interesting Man In the World

The Simon can fly a single engine plane, but with his green card status, is not able to get his pilot's license.

The Simon can play piano and has since the age of 3. The Simon originally went to Azusa Pacific as a music major before deciding to get into the seedy world of computer programming. The Simon is licensed to teach piano in China and is a level 8 piano instructor. (whatever the hell that means)

The Simon can also play guitar.

Basically, The Simon dominates.

The Simon: Livestrong or Die Tryin'

The Simon- Smoker since the age of 13.
The Simon's brand- Parliaments
The Simon's peak- During college, The Simon was smoking 2 packs a day
The Simon's last wish- After his demise, The Simon would like his lungs donated to those anti-smoking programs that go to high schools and scare the crap out of teens. The same teens who will swear not to smoke after seeing the charred coalmine lungs, then start smoking a few weeks later.

The Simon: Follow the White Rabbit

The Simon, who is married, first met his bride to be at Paradise
(an LA dance/club/bar)
The Simon was 19 when he met Maggie.
How did The Simon get into a bar one may ask?
With the fake ID The Simon made, of course!
The Simon was a true whiz at making ID's on Photoshop
and then using a blow-dryer to fasten the plastic.
The Simon- the guy EVERYONE wanted to know in college.

The Simon Meets With the French

(Santa Monica) Today, The Simon met with VP of Consumer Marketing, Julie Campistron. "I am deeply, how do they say, hon-ored." Campistron said in her trademark Frenchy accent. "I have eeh, heard so much about le him." The two chatted among other things, The Simon's 8 month old son, Bradley. "The Bradley loves the way The Simon's cat, Joshua the cat, walks around the room. The Bradley's eyes follow him around the room."

First Select Donut Becomes Official Sponsor of The Simon

Simonlicious!

Demand Media star, The Simon, has become the official spokesman for 'First Select Mini Powdered Donuts'. By contract, The Simon has to mention in every the First Select in every blog post.

The Simon, do you have any siblings?
"The Simon is an only child, but if The Simon had any, The Simon's siblings would like First Select Mini Powdered Donuts"

Who Would you like to meet in heaven? "The Simon would like to meet god, but only if god has a First Select Mini Powdered Donut"

The Simon: Everything in Between

The Simon likes to start every morning with a quick prayer for world peace.

Biggest Fear- Horror Movies- "The Simon doesn't see the reason to scare the s#@t out of The Simon."

Celebrity Crush- Was Bea Arthur, but she passed away. Now, Jessica Alba.

Favorite Wild Animal- Tiger

Motto: "Nothing is Perfect"

Own a Pet? Yes, Joshua the Cat. The Simon opened his garage one day and a wet kitten was sitting there. The Simon also has 8 cats in Shanghai, but The Simon is not sure who is feeding them at this point.


Joshua the Cat guards the popcorn and Corn Flakes

The Simon: Backstory

Look Deeply into The Simon's Eyes
The Simon came over to the grand US o' A as an exchange student and pretty much stayed after that.
Not sure if that is legal or not, but whatever.
In the trade, China received Chet Lemon and two late round American draft picks.
The Simon has since returned to China several times, including his wedding,
where he received a loud ovation from appreciative family members and lifelong fans.

The Simon Fun Facts

The Mind > The Fist

The Simon was born in Shanghai, China (as opposed to Shanghai, Arkansas).
Shanghai has a population of roughly 20 million.
And yet, not one living soul from Shanghai has seen the film Shanghai Surprise

The Simon Declares Ceasefire for Taco Day

The Simon Enjoys a Cigarette While Accounting Burns

The Simon has granted a ceasefire during his onslaught of accounting, so both sides could enjoy tacos from Tacos Por Favor. "The Simon is a warrior, not a barbarian." The Simon declared. "Other days, The Simon want the streets to be stained with the blood of The Simon's enemies. Today...Salsa."

The Art of War

The Simon demonstrates how to peacefully surrender

The Simon forces(TSF) have recently taken position on the second floor, east hallway. Military experts believe that TSF forces are planning an assault on Accounting. Ryan Schultz of Accounting remains defiant:


Schultz: "If it is war The Simon wants, then it is war The Simon gets."

The Simon Speaks

“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like Mountain Dew. Now you put Mountain Dew into a 2 liter, it becomes the 2 liter, you put Dew into a can, it becomes the can, you put it in a glass, it becomes the glass. Now Mountain Dew can flow or it can crash. Be Mountain Dew, my friend.”

First Post: The Daily Simon

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009 5:19PM
After hours of observation, I discovered:
the Simon loves apples.
The Simon also enjoys listening to people 'shred' on guitar. (Steve Vai and Eddie Van Halen are his two favorite 'shredders')
The Simon is married.
The Simon speaks Cantonese and Mandarin